I did it all for the glitter

Tomorrow’s the inaugural Los Angeles Rock ‘n’ Roll 1/2 Marathon. The route is mostly downhill starting at the Los Angeles Zoo in Griffith Park and ending at L.A. Live in downtown. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be sweating 13.1 miles. That’s the beauty that comes with tackling marathons. Once you survive those, your frame of mind for “long” mileage is warped. Thirteen miles is no longer “long.” It’s a maintenance run. It’s a couple hours of your Saturday or Sunday morning. It’s another errand or chore you must strike off the list before the weekend ends.

Under normal circumstances…

These aren’t normal times. These are unhealthy, painful times.

1. Right foot

I can’t stress enough how much pain I’m in. I can’t even walk around the house barefoot. My doctor, who I should be thanking for not peddling pills and other excesses, suggested I put inserts in my shoes to fix the problem. Done. Pain still there. For some background, I overpronate… a lot. I über-overpronate. The entire right side of my right foot feels terrible, and that has extended to my right heel. Full disclosure: I don’t have perfect running form. I land further back on my foot than I should so that doesn’t help.

2. Left big toe

Of course, the pain can’t be localized to one area. It hurts like a bruise hurts. Like a bruised toe before the nail falls off hurts. Eghh

3. Left knee

Decades ago I got a serious knee injury. It came back to haunt me in ’07 during my training for marathon #1. For a good month, my left knee was 1.5x bigger than the right. Of course, now that my foot hurts and is throwing everything off balance, my knee decided it didn’t want to be left out of the limelight.

4. Left hamstring

Pulled. Are you kidding me? Of course not. I pulled my left hamstring doing God only knows what. It’s not like I was sprinting. I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened during my cross-training in spin class. It’s like the world is just trying to pile anything on top. Like…

5. Party tonight

Carne asada, beer, margaritas and more. Yelling at the television with the Phillies and Giants or Cain v. Brock. It’s not going to be a tranquil night where I’m going to curl up in bed early and go over my running stuff, making sure everything’s in order. Nope. I’ll probably drink too much, sleep too little and wake up a hot mess at 5 a.m. *If I wake up at all!!

A more experienced runner would probably decide to sit this one out. Or they might quit whining, sacrifice the tequila and prepare for tomorrow. Since I’m neither more experienced nor more committed, I’m going to play this by ear. If I finish, then I get a new medal. If I don’t, then I’ll ask for it anyway.

PHOTO: Taken during the race expo, this is the shiny medal that beckons me.