This weekend was Mexico’s last game of the year. All in all, clenbuterol scandal aside, 2011 was a very good year for El Tri. They won the Gold Cup and briefly broke into FIFA’s Top 10. Even the chamacos exhilarated with the performance of the summer, taking the U-17 World Cup trophy and sweeping boot honors.
The capstone of the year — thank god — was a 2-0 win against Serbia. Who cares about rankings or closing it our good years: It was more important to win for self-esteem issues: That game looked like some serious mofos (Serbs) versus a bunch of pipsqueaks pretending at professional play (Mexicans). I mean, just look at the photo above.
Serbia TOWERED over Mexican players. They threw farther than Mex kicked. They toyed with the little players and shoved them around the field. Need proof: Just look for Chicharito’s grass stains. When Mexicans jumped, they barely reached Serb shoulder height.
I did a little research (off Soccernet and Wikipedia). After crunching the numbers, here are the highlights:
- The tallest guy on the Mexican squad was captain Maza Rodriguez at 6’2″ (Maybe that’s why they made him captain, eh???)
- The shortest guy for Mexico, who was a second-half substitute, was Sinha at 5’4″ (A long lost Little, maybe???)
- Key players Guardado is 5’7″, Chicharito is 5’8″, Gio Dos Santos and Carlos Salcido are 5’9″
- Mexican height average: 5’10” (I rounded up)
- The SHORTEST guy on Serbian squad was TALLER than the Mexican average. (Milos Ninkovic is 5’11”. He’s also the only 5-footer in the opening lineup.)
- Their tallest player should be in another sport. (Nikola Zigic is 6’7½” and should play basketball.)
- Serbian height average: 6’2″ (I rounded down)
This win wasn’t just for Mexico, it was for all us who wish we were taller than we are and who tend to round up all the time (so yeah, I guess it was for Mexico). To festering Napoleon Complexes!!!
- Mexico Ended 2011 with a Win Over Serbia (socyberty.com)
- Video : Javier ‘Chicharito’ Hernandez’s Two Goal vs Serbia – Mexico vs Serbia International Friendly (theoriginalwinger.com)
- Hernandez hits brace as Mexico beats Serbia (sportsillustrated.cnn.com)
- Mexico vs Serbia Score Highlights 2-0 Goals video (soccer-blogger.com)