Blog Archives

Asses, the lot of them

Radio silence was key for me after Tuesday. I needed a solid 24+ hours to reflect on what had just happened. I searched my soul and came up with a good answer that I’m happy with … They’re asses, the lot of them.

This team is a bunch of asses … 

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This team too is a bunch of asses … 

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And these coaches … 

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The outlaws are asses … 

Mexico US Soccer

And this sorry group of TRIste fans too …

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Oh, and the Honduras team is a bunch of asses since they couldn’t win … 

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And, yeah, Panama too because they played just* well enough to tie. Asses, the lot of them!

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PHOTOS: Top shots are from the USA v Mexico World Cup qualifier on Tuesday, Sept. 10 at Columbus, Ohio. The bottom two are from the Honduras v Panama game. Panama came back to tie 2-2, earning one point and bumping Mexico to fifth place in the CONCACAF qualifiers. The top 3 automatically advance and the 4th place team must play against New Zealand for a spot.

Once upon a time Mexico fans were happy

Do you remember that we used to win? I do.

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It’s OK if you don’t remember

Let’s face it, TRI-istas. It’s been a rough summer. So harsh that I’ve nearly given up trying to keep up with all my commentary. Mainly, I’ve resorted to sharing my foul-mouthed two cents with they guy next to me at the bar, nursing our wounds and our beers together.

PERO BASTA YA!

The pity party must end. We must get our shit together because it’s not over. On Tuesday, with a new coach, el TRI faces its second-leg game against the U.S. This is a movie script waiting to happen — rise from the ashes. Rise, guerreros. RISE.

It has been more than 30 years since Mexico failed to qualify for a World Cup. We are an institution at these events. We are a serious presence, both vocally and physically. We travel for our team. We pack stadiums. We inflict our lovably crude fandom on others. We land like locusts in cities and buy out all merchandise. We keep economies humming.

That means that if we fall short, more than just Mexico fans will be crying into their tequila and singing sappy mariachi songs with the guy next to them at the bar. You all will. 

PHOTOS: Top two are from the London Olympics 2012, where Mexico took home the gold medal; Chuy Corona celebrates during a World Cup qualifying match against Guyana; Julio Gomez during the drama-filled U17 World Cup in 2011; the 2011 Gold Cup winners.

 

Sometimes, there are no words

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And sometimes, more words are needed!

No manches, güey

No mames, güey

No chingues, güey

En serio, güey?

No friegues, güey

No puede ser, güey

Que pedo, güey

Se la perdio, güey

Güüüüeeeeeeeyyyyyyy

Photo from Récord

WCQ WTF

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What the frack is wrong with this picture??!!!!?

The top three regional teams automatically qualify for Brazil 2014. The fourth-place team is on the bubble and has to play against another confederation team to secure a spot.

Mexico has had a lackluster start to CONCACAF hexagonal play, which has put it squarely below average in standings. It has a measly 2 points. We need a win and it needs to happen TODAY.

And with all the pressure on them, TRI hosts the US team in Estadio Azteca. Fingers crossed the crowd doesn’t start booing the home team again. Bring your umbrellas. Beer and pee will rain down from 7,900 feet.

 

US soccer missing that love spark

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I’ve wondered for some time now why there’s such resistance to a full-bodied embrace of soccer/football in the United States. I think I’m finally able to articulate my hypothesis.

Prostitutes.

A number of current events stories in recent weeks/months has led me to the conclusion that America will never be as enthusiastic about soccer; never deify their league-leading players; never bring communities/societies to standstills as the rest of the world does until it has the full support of its sex workers. And since prostitution is illegal in the U.S. (save Nevada), it makes logical sense that soccer enthusiasts will remain pocketed throughout the country.

My proof:

  • Nigeria’s women of the night/day/mid-afternoon provided extra incentive by offering a full week of free sex if the men’s national team won the African Cup of Nations. They did.
  • Brazil’s associated sex workers are business savvy women. They’re preparing themselves for Confederations Cup 2013 and World Cup 2014 with free language classes. Must diversify.
  • In Greece, a couple of bordellos have emerged as the main sponsors/saviors for some amateur teams. Never fear; pros to the rescue.

In this light, the Mexican contingent that was sent to the 2011 Copa América was only attempting to maintain positive soccer-prostitute international relations.

Disclaimer: This is neither pro- nor anti- advocacy, just well-observed facts.

PHOTO: Credit REUTERS/Wolfgang Rattay

What?! You think this is a game?!!

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Yep. That’s kinda how we all feel, Maza.

Yesterday, during the hexagonal kickoff match against Jamaica in Estadio Azteca, Mexico put on such a lackluster show and failed to capitalize on its home-field advantage. You’re playing in the clouds practically (7,900-foot elevation)!! MAKE THEM RUN.

It got so bad that fans started booing our own team and cheering every time Jamaica had the ball. I’m sure the captain didn’t appreciate any of that.

We scraped by with 1 point, by the grace of God. Read:  By the blessings of Jesus.

Jose de Jesus Corona was the one person responsible for keeping Mexico, the regional leader, from falling oh-so-hard from grace. Aside from that spectacular diving save, Chuy had a few more moments where he punched out incoming shots and smothered balls during one-on-one breakaways.

Good stats, of course, for any goalie. But not when that goalie represents a team that has been on the rise. Get your shit together, guerreros. This isn’t a game anymore. It’s a fight to the World Cup.

PHOTO: Mexico captain Francisco ‘MAZA’ Rodriguez flipped off camera while Corona gives interview. Irony, here, is that Corona is the loose cannon you should watch out for off-field antics.

Hexagonal resource: Mexico trading cards

Today is the official start to the CONCACAF Hexagonal — the Road to Brazil 2014. The six regional teams are all facing each other over the course of the year in their qualifying run toward the World Cup.

February 6 Matches

Honduras – United States
Panama – Costa Rica
Mexico – Jamaica

Unless you’ve been following every single move the Mexican teams have been making these last few months, today’s game will offer some familiar and newbie faces. Well-known players include CHICHARITO, Giovani DOS SANTOS, Andrés GUARDADO, Maza RODRIGUEZ, Aldo DE NIGRIS, and Carlos SALCIDO. Of course, my boy Chuy CORONA will also be keeping riff raff out of Azteca’s nets.

But the squad that’s playing Jamaica also includes a ton of young blood that has been called up to the main team. There are handful of U23 players who debuted during 2011 Copa America (and some who were suspended during the prostitution robbery mess). Plus, some members were part of the winning squad during the 2011 Pan American Games, and 2012 Toulon Tournament. And, by my count, there are nine Olympic gold medalists. I’m surprised they found room on this roster for Chicharito. What am I saying? There’s always room for Chicharito.

So here are my trading cards for four players. A few I know you’ve seen before and will likely see play today. Some may be brand new information. I’d do more, but who has that kind of time. Perhaps over the course of the games …

♦♦♦


Age: 22
Plays for Villareal CF, Spain’s Segunda Division
Mexico: 2012 London Olympics, 2011 Pan American Games, 2011 Copa America

♦♦♦

Age: 23
Plays for CF Monterrey, Liga MX
Mexico: 2012 London Olympics, 2011 Pan American Games, 2011 Copa America

♦♦♦

mfabian_tc

Age: 23
Plays for Guadalajara, Liga MX
Mexico: 2012 London Olympics, 2012 Toulon Tournament, 2011 Copa America*

♦♦♦

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Age: 31
Plays for Tijuana Xoloitzcuincles de Caliente, Liga MX, Apertura champions
Mexico: Played 45 minutes during Jan. 30 friendly against Denmark

Por ser día de tu santo …

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I just want to give a huge shout-out to my TRI-ista-in-arms and occasional running buddy, who celebrates a birthday today. And she timed it well — right before the start of the CONCACAF hexagonal stage. There’ll hopefully be much to celebrate today and in the coming months on the road toward Brazil 2014.

Just 493 days left!!

Los pajarillos cantan qué?

 

The return of the TRI-colores

It felt like a long time ago that I was going crazy, practicing my zen approach and biding my time between the sporadic Mexico National Team appearances. Now, I have the opposite problem. It’s raining games left and right between the main team, Olympic team and others. How do you keep up with everything? With UNIVISION and an expanded cable sports package, that’s how.

Let’s start with a recap of the junior team, Los Chamaquitos. The kids went to France and represented! Just today the plucky crop of futboleros took the final at the Toulon Tournament by beating Turkey 3-0.

The Chamacos (main selection) have also been pretty busy. Last weekend, they played against Wales in New Jersey (and won). On Thursday, they played a more formidable team in Bosnia & Herzegovina (and won). And on Sunday, they play a friendly against Brazil (and will win). Wishful, I know. But who’s going to root against their team? Que tonterías.

Then, next week the Road to World Cup 2014 starts with a game against El Salvador on June 8.

And a shoutout to all my family in Torreon and the Santos victory.

And the start of Euro Cup 2012!!!!

See why it’s a good time to be a fan.

A complete schedule of upcoming games for all teams is available on el TRI’s facebook page. Just click here.

PHOTO: Carlos Salcido celebrating 100th appearance for TRI, before Thursday’s friendly against Bosnia-Herz.

Been too long: Mexico national soccer finally back

Mexico begins its 2012 season and its road to the World Cup 2014 tonight with a friendly against Venezuela in Houston. Since 1938, Mexico has never lost to Venezuela (7 wins, 2 ties). But, the winds are changing in South America and Venezuela should not be taken lightly. Chepo, take note. When a dominant team enters a competition with swagger galore, the team that’s most-written-off is the one that’s out to prove itself. They’re the Cinderellas. They inspire motion pictures. March madddness, anyone?

Enough of sports crossover analogies. Back to my footy obsession.

Mexico called up a completely domestic team to kick off the new year. There’s no Chicharito, no Gio, no Memo, no Rafa (note: There actually is a Rafa Marquez but he’s not The Rafa Marquez). All the players currently play in Mexico’s league and are mostly a bunch of young’uns.

And guess who that includes??? A personal favorite and Hot Goalie member — Chuy Corona. You know, head-butting dude.

“I feel great joy and pride. Now, I know you have to maintain a good level… it’s a big responsibility to wear the team jersey,” Corona said (Read more at Univision or via Google Translate).

Here’s some game info for those interested in seeing it. (Keep me in the loop since I’ll probably be watching the Laker v. Clipper action tonight. Just kidding… I’ll flip channels)
UNIVISION 6 p.m. PST

PHOTO (from top): Taken by me during World Cup 2010 in South Africa; Chuy Corona standing proud pre-head-butting.